feast of the Holy Family: intentional loving is a lot of work

“Brothers and sisters:

Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved,

heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,

bearing with one another and forgiving one another, 

if one has a grievance against another; 

as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.

And over all these put on love, 

that is, the bond of perfection.

And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, 

the peace into which you were also called in one body.

And be thankful.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, 

as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, 

singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs 

with gratitude in your hearts to God.

And whatever you do, in word or in deed, 

do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks to God the Father through him. “

~Colossians 3: 12-17

It’s been a jam-packed week.

Our complete, whole family gathered for 3 nights/4 days… that’s three little people and 12 adults—with some able to join us before Christmas Eve, and others staying longer. 

I confess that nothing delights my heart more than filling up a pew at church—and having a rowdy, full table for Nochebuena dinner (our traditional Cuban feast of pork, black beans, plátanos, yucca)!

2013 marked our first Christmas ever with everyone gathered under one roof, including the 1-year-old Twinkies, my parents, my brother, and all three married couples.

But besides Nochebuena and Christmas Day, our family also celebrated together two birthdays, my Dad’s 84^th and my daughter-in-law Mary’s 30^th, both on December 26^th—AND our 32nd wedding anniversary the day after that.

That’s a lot of goodness and merriment packed into a very short amount of time.

But please, don’t idolize our Week of Wonderful. With that many people and that much going on, the Texas-sized serving of goodness also includes side-dishes of: mess and chaos; arguing; hurt feelings; mis-understandings; anxiety; unending piles of dirty dishes; lack of sleep; bickering… You get the idea.

As our insightful Deacon reminded us in today’s homily, being family requires a lot of deliberate, mindful work—including massive doses of forgiveness, gentleness, understanding, appreciation, respect, compassion, patience. Just Go back and read St. Paul’s letter to the Colossians that I quoted above!

Intentional loving is a lot of work.

It is no great surprise that I’ve spent the last 24 hours catching up on rest and sleep!

After all, tomorrow is Elenita’s third birthday. And we are still on a holding pattern waiting for our 4^th grandchild to be born… any day now.

I am truly, deeply blessed. Happy feast of the Holy Family indeed.

Christmas 2013

orienting my heart

“When Paul says that God has chosen the weak, the foolish, and the rejected, or when Jesus, in Matthew’s Gospel, describes the Kingdom of God as a wedding feast to which all the poor, the lame, the sick, and the blind are invited, they confirm that the weak have a preferential place in the hart of God. Jesus himself was rejected and outcast; he identifies with the rejected, the outcasts. Is that not the Gospel’s new order that replaces the old? We in L’Arche are beginning to touch something of the mystery that people like Saint Vincent de Paul grasped when he said: ‘The poor are our teachers.’”

~Jean Vanier

“One can write reams about the poverty of Christ—drawing conclusions about what an imitation of that poverty would be like and what kind of implications this might have for us. What is beyond discussion is that whatever our life it must, if it is to be Christian, protect a place for Christ in our flesh and blood encounters—our meetings, our welcomes, our ways of relating—to the poor. The poor man by reason of poverty itself often repels us (cf. Francis kissing the leper). He brings into our way of life the very contradiction that is Christ. It is the real presence of Christ in the poor man, when this is really believed and the poor man is known as a person, that can transform the encounter with him from a purely ‘social problem’ into something essentially and authentically Christian. The poor must not be someone who is tolerated and put up with, but someone who is waited for and expected.”

~Madeleine Delbrél

“Saint Vincent de Paul saw that one truly intelligent way to follow Christ is to recognize our own spiritual poverty and to serve that poverty in ‘the least of these.’ He recognized that one truly intelligent way to practice theology was to tend to galley convicts, untouchables, and incurables. [A]t the end of the day the question for each of us, is: What was my orientation of heart toward the people with whom I came in contact over the last twenty-four hours? How am I treating the people who can do nothing for me? Is my work for my glory or for God’s?”

~Heather King

+   +   +   +   +

I’ve spent most of the past three days hanging out with my holy trinity of grandkids, Elena and her little brother and sister, twins Ignacio and Cecilia.

In a house full of adults, these beautiful little voices are simultaneously the center of attention—and the voiceless who “can do nothing for me,” helplessly needing care and nurture.

Sometimes the poor in our lives are, literally, the homeless, poor, and forgotten. Sometimes the poor in our day are those who need our help and attention, and can’t give us anything tangible in return, the children, the sick, the elderly.

How can I change the world always comes back to me. How did I respond to the people in my life today? What was my “orientation of heart,” my attitude?

connecting the dots: 5th week of Lent

Connecting the dots on the Fifth week of Lent:

+   Following our family’s life-changing, momentous events of 2012 (a Master’s graduation, two daughters’ weddings six week apart, the announcement and birth of twin grandchildren) –Michael and I acknowledge that we’ve been operating on survival/recovery mode for months.  But our life is shifting again, and as Lent progresses, we’ve been preparing our home and ourselves—physically, mentally and emotionally—to welcome back to Oklahoma our son Christopher and his wife Mary, parents of Elenita and the Twinkies, Cecilia and Ignacio.

We spent much of this weekend physically moving things around our house, making space, and discussing with one another the wondrous things God continues to bring about in our lives!  God’s attention to detail to the needs of our hearts never ceases to amaze me. So be on the lookout for it today, and let me know what details you see God doing in your life? We gift one another in the sharing.

+   At Mass yesterday, our remarkable pastor shared with us an unusual and, to me, very provoking response to this Sunday’s Gospel, the adulterous woman whom Jesus saves from being stoned to death:

"I have always disliked this Gospel story. I don’t like the thought of that woman standing there in her shame in front of a bunch of haughty accusers pointing at her, threatening her, and challenging Jesus. It is just an ugly scene, an ugly thought, a sad moment that really only resolves kindly for that woman. The rest of us are left standing there looking down.

I don’t like the fact that she is being used. This is not about her, and it is not about adultery. It is about those scribes and pharisees with all their self-righteous moral superiority using that woman to trap Jesus and prove themselves so law abiding and innocent. I just don’t like it when people get used by other people to make themselves look good. It happens all the time, because people who want to look good are not good, or at least do not feel good about themselves, so they have to use someone else or tear them down with their accusations, gossip, or whispered stories that may or may not be true.

I don’t like the fact that she is there alone. It takes two to commit that sin. Where is that guy? Did he slip away in the confusion of being caught? In that culture, according to the Book of Deuteronomy (22,22) which those scribes and pharisees knew very well, both were to be killed. They are not enforcing the law. Maybe the husband set the trap knowing that she would be killed. Perhaps some enemies of his set the trap in order to shame him. It is impossible to decide but the embarrassment of the situation is surpassed only by the malice of setting the trap to catch the partners in the act. There is ugly malice here, and it isn’t adultery."

Fr. Tom Boyer and his insightful homilies frequently bless me. Check out the rest of this one by clicking on “homilies” under “liturgy” at our parish’s website.

+   I continue to be touched by the genuine simplicity and candid tales of our new Holy Father, el Papa Francisco, who loves to speak without a prepared text. After celebrating Mass at St. Anne’s, the parish church of Vatican City, and greeting parishioners at the church door like any other parish priest!—here’s what he had to say about mercy and this Gospel at his first Angelus yesterday:

"[This story] captures Jesus' attitude: we do not hear words of contempt, we do not hear words of condemnation, but only words of love, of mercy, that invite us to conversion. 'Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more!' Well, brothers and sisters! God's face is that of a merciful father who is always patient. 

Have you thought about God's patience, the patience that He has with each of us? That is His mercy. He always has patience, is always patient with us, understanding us, awaiting us, never tiring of forgiving us if we know how to return to him with a contrite heart.”