cross at Finisterre, España |
“Jesus helped many people, but He was honest and straightforward about it. He didn’t persecute people after He helped them. And he asked them what they wanted from Him. Sometimes He asked why, too. He held people responsible for their behavior… I think [codependent] caretaking perverts Biblical messages about giving, loving, and helping.”
~Melody Beattie, "Codependent No More"
“Go and learn the meaning of the words, I desire mercy, not sacrifice"
Gospel of Matthew 9:13
I’ve usually
heard these words, said by Jesus to the ever unpopular Pharisees, as some kind
of criticism to them, an inside diss,
if you will.
But today, as soon as I
read this Gospel, I also heard my heart asking out loud—what do you really mean by that, Lord, that
you desire mercy and not sacrifice?
The response was
surprisingly immediate: the difference is in the attitude.
If I stop, pay
attention, and I’m honest with myself, I know when my behavior—no matter how
honorable it may seem—is based on an attitude of “sacrifice.”
When I act out of
“sacrifice,” I’m often masking a myriad of other mindsets compelling my
behavior. It’s often based on what author Melody Beattie describes in therapeutic jargon
as behaving like a “victim,” usually acting out of a codependent “Drama
Triangle.”
But let’s not get
lost in that language either.
The point is simple. My behavior can either reveal
an attitude of “sacrifice,” centered on the self—or it can reflect a desire to act out
of love, giving the self in freedom and authenticity.
This is the
loving mercy God desires.
sounds of my backyard, where I do my pondering
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