feast of the Holy Family: intentional loving is a lot of work

“Brothers and sisters:

Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved,

heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,

bearing with one another and forgiving one another, 

if one has a grievance against another; 

as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.

And over all these put on love, 

that is, the bond of perfection.

And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, 

the peace into which you were also called in one body.

And be thankful.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, 

as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, 

singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs 

with gratitude in your hearts to God.

And whatever you do, in word or in deed, 

do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks to God the Father through him. “

~Colossians 3: 12-17

It’s been a jam-packed week.

Our complete, whole family gathered for 3 nights/4 days… that’s three little people and 12 adults—with some able to join us before Christmas Eve, and others staying longer. 

I confess that nothing delights my heart more than filling up a pew at church—and having a rowdy, full table for Nochebuena dinner (our traditional Cuban feast of pork, black beans, plátanos, yucca)!

2013 marked our first Christmas ever with everyone gathered under one roof, including the 1-year-old Twinkies, my parents, my brother, and all three married couples.

But besides Nochebuena and Christmas Day, our family also celebrated together two birthdays, my Dad’s 84^th and my daughter-in-law Mary’s 30^th, both on December 26^th—AND our 32nd wedding anniversary the day after that.

That’s a lot of goodness and merriment packed into a very short amount of time.

But please, don’t idolize our Week of Wonderful. With that many people and that much going on, the Texas-sized serving of goodness also includes side-dishes of: mess and chaos; arguing; hurt feelings; mis-understandings; anxiety; unending piles of dirty dishes; lack of sleep; bickering… You get the idea.

As our insightful Deacon reminded us in today’s homily, being family requires a lot of deliberate, mindful work—including massive doses of forgiveness, gentleness, understanding, appreciation, respect, compassion, patience. Just Go back and read St. Paul’s letter to the Colossians that I quoted above!

Intentional loving is a lot of work.

It is no great surprise that I’ve spent the last 24 hours catching up on rest and sleep!

After all, tomorrow is Elenita’s third birthday. And we are still on a holding pattern waiting for our 4^th grandchild to be born… any day now.

I am truly, deeply blessed. Happy feast of the Holy Family indeed.

Christmas 2013

be at peace

Elenita, 2013

Year passes after year silently; Christ’s coming is ever nearer than it was. O that, as he comes nearer earth, we may approach nearer heaven! You have one work only: to bear your cross after him. Resolve in his strength to do so. Resolve to be no longer beguiled by ‘shadows of religion,’ by words, or by disputings, or by notions, or by high professions, or by excuses, or by the world’s promises or threats. Pray him to give you what Scripture calls ‘an honest and good heart,’ or ‘a perfect heart,’ and, without waiting, begin at once to obey him with the best heart you have. Any obedience is better than none… Every act of obedience is an approach—an approach to him who is not far off though he seems so, but close behind this visible screen of things which hides him from us. The day will come when he will rend that veil, and show himself to us… May this be the portion of every one of us! It is hard to attain it; but it is woeful to fail. Life is short; death is certain and the world to come is everlasting.”

~John Henry Newman (†1890)

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in his love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in his arms. 

 Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same Eternal Father who takes care of you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day of your life. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. 

 Be at peace then, and put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.

~ Francis de Sales (†1622)

I have been obsessed all weekend with a song.

In all honesty, that’s not unusual for me. When a song or piece of music surprises me, especially from an unexpected source, I set it to play and I keep it on replay ad nauseum – usually wearing headphones – so that I can really listen and decipher what about it touches my heart.

Here’s what I’ve heard:

Made a wrong turn, Once or twice

Dug my way out, Blood and fire

Bad decisions, that's alright

Welcome to my silly life

You're so mean,
When you talk, about yourself, you were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head
Make them like you Instead.

The whole world stares so I swallow the fear,

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.

So cool in line and we try, try, try,

But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time.

Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
We change ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
(Why do I do that?)

Here’s a YouTube video of it:

Perfect promo NYC, acustic 

Tonight, as you go to sleep, may you hear God whispering in your ear what most of us never really believe:

Pretty, pretty please

Don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than less than perfect.

Pretty, pretty please

If you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing

You are perfect to me.

~Lyrics to “Perfect” by P!nk 

[note: when you look it up, be sure to search for the “clean” version!]

let's talk dirt

Did you know that food waste is the largest component of solid waste in landfills? As much as 15 to 20 percent of the food supply in this country ends up in the household garbage can. 

Not a pretty sight: food waste in landfill

Our family began composting to give us a place to put to good "use" most of those kitchen scraps. My practical husband gets all the credit--he has been composting for many years, way before it was cool to do so! 

Want some other practical reasons to compost?  

According to experts, soil made from composting has many advantages over the soil in your garden or yard that might be depleted of nutrients. Other reasons to compost, courtesy of the Texas Co-op Power e-newsletter:

• You’ll water less—a nice benefit in the midst of drought—because compost absorbs and retains moisture.
• You’ll use less fertilizer because compost is rich in nutrients.
• Compost improves the structure of heavy clay soils as well as loose sandy soils.
• It makes plants healthier and therefore more resistant to disease and pests, reducing the need for herbicides and pesticides.
• Less watering, fertilizing and treating saves money.

At our house, we keep things uber simple. There’s a plethora of options for commercial kitchen “compost bins”—but we simply use a ceramic pot with a lid that we line with plastic bags, the ones we use to bring home the produce (another simple recycling).

our compost pile

Again, your options for an official "composter" are many. Or you can do what we do. In a corner of our yard, somewhat contained by a chicken wire divider, we dump daily our kitchen scraps and mix in freshly mowed green grass and our raked dry leaves.  That’s about it.

A good rule of thumb is about one-third green and two-thirds brown by volume. Green, nitrogen-rich items include grass clippings and food scraps. Brown, high-carbon items include dry leaves, newspaper and cardboard. 

I know you’re supposed to “turn it,” but to be honest, we mostly let our compost simply be. The result is still beautiful, rich soil that I mix into my pots for growing herbs and that Michael breaks into the soil of his vegetable garden.

Here’s more information for those of you who want something a little more academic on composting, also here. Or if you prefer to go about it a little more “controlled,” also here.

However you do it, may I suggest you give it a go?

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“In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth." 

~Genesis 1:1 

Michael and Elenita mix compost into garden soil

"The Earth is indeed a precious gift of the Creator who, in designing its intrinsic order, has given us bearings that guide us as stewards of his creation. Precisely from within this framework, the Church considers matters concerning the environment and its protection intimately linked to the theme of integral human development.”

~Pope Benedict XVI, 

General Audience, August 26, 2009

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“The world is not something indifferent, raw material to be utilized simply as we see fit. Rather, it is part of God’s good plan, in which all of us are called to be sons and daughters in the one Son of God, Jesus Christ (cf. Eph 1:4-12).”

~Pope Benedict XVI, 

Apostolic Exhortation 

Sacramentum Caritatis, 

February 22, 2007

connecting the dots: 5th week of Lent

Connecting the dots on the Fifth week of Lent:

+   Following our family’s life-changing, momentous events of 2012 (a Master’s graduation, two daughters’ weddings six week apart, the announcement and birth of twin grandchildren) –Michael and I acknowledge that we’ve been operating on survival/recovery mode for months.  But our life is shifting again, and as Lent progresses, we’ve been preparing our home and ourselves—physically, mentally and emotionally—to welcome back to Oklahoma our son Christopher and his wife Mary, parents of Elenita and the Twinkies, Cecilia and Ignacio.

We spent much of this weekend physically moving things around our house, making space, and discussing with one another the wondrous things God continues to bring about in our lives!  God’s attention to detail to the needs of our hearts never ceases to amaze me. So be on the lookout for it today, and let me know what details you see God doing in your life? We gift one another in the sharing.

+   At Mass yesterday, our remarkable pastor shared with us an unusual and, to me, very provoking response to this Sunday’s Gospel, the adulterous woman whom Jesus saves from being stoned to death:

"I have always disliked this Gospel story. I don’t like the thought of that woman standing there in her shame in front of a bunch of haughty accusers pointing at her, threatening her, and challenging Jesus. It is just an ugly scene, an ugly thought, a sad moment that really only resolves kindly for that woman. The rest of us are left standing there looking down.

I don’t like the fact that she is being used. This is not about her, and it is not about adultery. It is about those scribes and pharisees with all their self-righteous moral superiority using that woman to trap Jesus and prove themselves so law abiding and innocent. I just don’t like it when people get used by other people to make themselves look good. It happens all the time, because people who want to look good are not good, or at least do not feel good about themselves, so they have to use someone else or tear them down with their accusations, gossip, or whispered stories that may or may not be true.

I don’t like the fact that she is there alone. It takes two to commit that sin. Where is that guy? Did he slip away in the confusion of being caught? In that culture, according to the Book of Deuteronomy (22,22) which those scribes and pharisees knew very well, both were to be killed. They are not enforcing the law. Maybe the husband set the trap knowing that she would be killed. Perhaps some enemies of his set the trap in order to shame him. It is impossible to decide but the embarrassment of the situation is surpassed only by the malice of setting the trap to catch the partners in the act. There is ugly malice here, and it isn’t adultery."

Fr. Tom Boyer and his insightful homilies frequently bless me. Check out the rest of this one by clicking on “homilies” under “liturgy” at our parish’s website.

+   I continue to be touched by the genuine simplicity and candid tales of our new Holy Father, el Papa Francisco, who loves to speak without a prepared text. After celebrating Mass at St. Anne’s, the parish church of Vatican City, and greeting parishioners at the church door like any other parish priest!—here’s what he had to say about mercy and this Gospel at his first Angelus yesterday:

"[This story] captures Jesus' attitude: we do not hear words of contempt, we do not hear words of condemnation, but only words of love, of mercy, that invite us to conversion. 'Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more!' Well, brothers and sisters! God's face is that of a merciful father who is always patient. 

Have you thought about God's patience, the patience that He has with each of us? That is His mercy. He always has patience, is always patient with us, understanding us, awaiting us, never tiring of forgiving us if we know how to return to him with a contrite heart.”