I desire to desire... my Thanksgiving prayer

Charleston, NC

Every single day we lose two minutes of sunlight. That’s a fact. And I have to confess that the combination of less light and my melancholic spirit is truly messing with me.

I also think that the dramatic shift from Spring time weather and sunlight in Santiago de Chile one day—to brutal winter temps and our first real snow of the season the next day, has truly exacerbated my already fragile and volatile emotions.

my backyard, November 2014

I want to rejoice and be grateful and enjoy life and even embrace its many changes as everything keeps shifting around me, especially this week as our family gathers around the table and each other. But in all honesty, I’m struggling. And I’m failing.   

Perhaps it’s time I give myself a break and simply embrace the swing in my prayer from “Lord, I desire to surrender all… embrace all” to the more ornery but realistic, “Lord, I desire to desire (or even desire to desire to desire) to surrender all… embrace all.”  Or not.

Truth be told, that’s the first thing I’m grateful for, the fact that God takes me as I am, where I am, every time.  And for now, that is enough of a prayer, no?

Two more things. 

First, a question. Are you interested in receiving a FREE digital version of Magnificat Magazine’s Advent Companion? If so, just drop me an email or leave a message here or on Facebook. I have a hand full of codes to give away, and you could be the one to get one!! 

Finally, my wish and prayer for each of you as we bring another liturgical year to a close is that you may be blown away this week by the awareness of God’s presence in your life! Keep an eye out for Him. He’s dying to be seen.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving and weekend my friends!

TE DEUM

Not because of victories

I sing,

having none,

but for the common sunshine,

the breeze,

the largess of the spring.

Not for victory

but for the day’s work done

as well as I was able;

not for a seat upon the dais

but at the common table.

~Charles Reznikoff in “The Hungry Ear: Poems of Food & Drink”

the new Normal

I feel like I've entered Ordinary Time early this year. 

In our liturgical tradition, the first period of Ordinary Time won't begin until after the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, which is the Sunday after Epiphany--or January 13 this year. 

Because our family, like our Church, celebrates Christmas all the way through Epiphany, I still have all our Christmas decorations up. The lights still shine. The nativities are featured in every room of our home. And this Sunday, as they have every year on their feast, los Tres Reyes will leave gifts at our house for the family.

But in spite of all this, I feel a change, a shift, that has already taken place within me and around me. I'm not feeling worried, or depressed. I've thought about it, and it's not post holiday blues.  

My "normal" life and schedule is characteristically unpredictable, so it's not that I need to go back to a regular routine to get back to normal. It's more an awareness that what is normal in my life has changed.

In the past seven months, our family has celebrated two weddings and one Masters' graduation. We have welcomed and, as of last week, baptized twin grand-babies. And two of our daughters have unexpectedly moved back to Norman, Oklahoma, because of work. Clearly, all of these changes are wonderful and exciting, and my heart is overwhelmed with thanksgiving! 

Maybe that's exactly why I feel a need for Ordinary Time, my heart is, indeed, overwhelmed--and it needs time and space to breathe deep again.

__ __ __ __ __ 

"Don't overlook the wonder of the ordinary" ~Anonymous