These words leapt out from the page and seized my heart:
“Across the threshold I had been afraid to cross, things suddenly seemed so very simple. There was but a single vision, God, who was all in all. There was but one will that directed all things, God’s will. I had only to see it, to discern it in every circumstance in which I found myself, and let myself be ruled by it. God is in all things, maintains all things, directs all things. To discern this in every situation and circumstance, to see his will in all things was to accept each circumstance and situation and let oneself be borne along in perfect confidence and trust. Nothing could separate me from him, because he was in all things. No danger could threaten me, no fear could shake me, except the fear of losing sight of him. The future, hidden as it was, was hidden in his will and therefore acceptable to me no matter what it might bring.”
Fr. Walter J. Ciszek, SJ in "He Leadeth Me," p. 81
Fr. Ciszek in Norilsk, USSR - 1955
I went to sleep with Father Ciszek’s words ringing in my ears, my heart held by the truth I heard—and my head spinning with thoughts of how far, how remote I am from truly walking in this surrender, this complete and genuine trust in God's providence.
I want Jesus to come to me, grab my hand, and help me up. I want to know the perfect confidence that Father Ciszek experienced—or at the very least, to desire to know that confidence! Tonight that is my prayer, to desire it—and if I cannot honestly desire it with my whole heart, then I pray that I may desire to desire it!