because God is specially in the stillness

“He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said,

“Amen, I say to you,

unless you turn and become like children,

 you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.”

~Gospel of Matthew 18: 2-3

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“The reason why we are with these particular people is because it is precisely to these people that Christ wants us to give his love. This year we are his trustees for these people; he has put his love for them into our hands, into our hearts. We did not choose this place—Christ has chosen it. We did not choose these people—Christ has chosen them.

We are asked one thing: to have the humility and courage to open the secret place of our heart to Christ, conscious though we are that it is as derelict as the stable, and that his light will reveal the mouse and the spider.”

~Caryll Houselander,

from “Lift up your hearts,”

as quoted in Magnificat,

December 3, 2018

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"Lord, give me the heart of a child 

and the awesome courage to live it out"

~Catherine Doherty

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I have had more than my fair share of “still” days lately, working hard to do my part to let my body recover, heal, and regain strength after fighting off -- first strep, then Thanksgiving busyness, and now pneumonia.

So many days at home – and not running around “preparing for the holidays,” as commercial after commercial insists as necessary, is not my normal.

Yet here I am, sitting by a warm fire, listening to music, being quiet, and pondering what may be the many lessons that I am learning. And I have to be honest, I’ve got nothing!

Not one. Zip. Nada.

What I do know is that all this extra “rest” time: napping, watching Lifetime Christmas movies and basketball--with some football in between, has somehow distanced me enough from my usual point of reference to make me mellow, softer maybe.

It has shifted me enough to help me “notice,” pay attention, a little quicker than normal.

So this morning, when I read Carryl Houselander’s reflection in Magnificat, I smiled remembering an “Aha!” moment I experienced long ago, in another life.

It was the awe I felt the first time I realized that these “people in our lives who are given to us to love,” as Carryl suggests, also included -- and indeed, must include, my very own awesome foursome, my children! 

God doesn’t waste any details.

God chose each of my children to be my child. Therefore, through each of those relationships, with each struggle and stage, and in every acceptance, surrender,  and delight… precisely through it all, rests my personal path to holiness and my salvation.

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Note:  photos are of my Grands, who continue to teach me and help me grow ❤️

Feeling the all or nothing of life, as is

There’s an incredibly intense, odd, yet distinctive, feeling that I get following every big family gathering, or rather, after family get-togethers that revolve around a special holy day—like Easter and Christmas.

This year, as has often been true in our family life, Michael and I shared the Triduum services with family members and special friends—Thursday’s Mass, Friday’s veneration of the Cross, and the Easter Vigil, the mother of all liturgies.

And at home, of course, everything culminated on Easter Sunday morning, when everyone gathered at our house for a full day of activities and a special meal – the kind of meal with recipes that are only made once a year.

Although the weather didn’t allow us to hang out in the back yard –my favorite! – we had a lovely afternoon full of laughter and games and storytelling, and not too many breakdowns J.

We seemed to move like a wave through the house, from room to room, ultimately retreating back into the ocean that is our large living room. That’s where we prayed together, where we had our Easter toast, where the kids drag us to read books—or to read books to us!

We had a traditional egg hunt for the Grands and their friends (11 kids total this year) – as well as the latest Scaperlanda Tribe tradition: a Hunger-Game-style egg hunt for adult “kids” under age 36. You’d have to see it to believe it.

Our meal menu has been the same for the last 23 years: garlicky leg-of-lamb, spinach and artichoke casserole, potatoes chantily, and home made rolls (courtesy of our best bread maker, Anamaría). The menu, by the way, comes from a ripped off page (now laminated) out of a Woman’s World magazine dated 4/11/95. The article was titled, “Amy Grant’s Southern-style Easter feast.”  Nope, I’m not kidding.

Today, as I sit in the same large living room that yesterday pulsated with the heartbeat of our family, the space is only filled up by scattered toys, books and empty plastic multi-colored eggs. 

I feel overwhelmed by what I can only describe as bitter sweet. I am spent, physically, yet also a bit weepy.

It’s not that I want my life to be different, or that I yearn for my life as it used to be—all those years of exhausting parenting when my awesome foursome all lived under our roof. I am genuinely delighted to watch my kids grow up, as well as to witness first hand the beautiful families that they are building.

Perhaps it’s the all or nothing of it all? That seems to be a constant element of this stage in our lives. Or perhaps I’m simply feeling the sadness that accompanies all true joy, the being truly here, then moving on. I don’t know.

Still, my house is silent. It is empty. There is something to feel here also. Life as is.

photo by Ignacio Ruiz

photo by Ignacio Ruiz

go ahead, I dare you to laugh

“A joyful heart is the health of the body”

or in this translation:

“Laughter does good like a medicine.”

                                                              ~ Book of Proverbs, Chapter 17, verse 22

“Humor is a prelude to faith and laughter is the beginning of prayer.”

                     ~Reinhold Niebuhr

 

Did you know that laughter can improve your life in 111 different ways?  Here are five, just to get you thinking:

#1       one woman’s personal failure is another woman’s… not exactly success, but definitely a source of shared humanity.

Picture this. I’m babysitting – by myself – all five of my grandkids, and everyone, I mean everyone, is grouchy and whinny.  At one point I look at the gang that surrounds me, everyone four years old and under, and I say rather loudly, “Oh my LORD!”  Upon hearing the word “Lord,” my one-year-old granddaughter Sofia folds her hands… in prayer and looks up at me.  Clearly, God knows that I was NOT praying, but Sofia reminded me to stop, laugh, and yes, say a prayer together.

#2       I read somewhere that Carol Burnett once said, “comedy is tragedy plus time.” Clearly not every tragedy will transform into humor of the ha-ha type.  But I’ve learned that happiness and sadness can and often do travel together.  It’s important for me that I remember that even in the darkest moments, light will soon follow.

And in truth, some pretty dark and/or dreadful moments do eventually become humorous. For example, the camping trip from he**, when tornadoes kept breaking out one after the other everywhere around us. Not only did our family have to take down our camping site in a panic in the rain, we had to drive east as fast as we could trying to find shelter or outrun the tornadoes.  Yet within two hours we were “camping” and roasting marshmallows again –at a Marriott Residence Inn!

If you want to read a family-oriented blog whose writer has a phenomenal sense of humor about every day moments, check chewingcrayons.com! 

#3       Who would you rather be around, a pessimist cynic who never smiles because life is just too hard or a realist who finds humor in most situations?  

Yeah, me, too!  Enough said.

#4       there are 17 different ways that laughter is good for you, physically.  It boosts  the immune system. It triggers endorphins and can even temporarily relieve pain. It improves and increases blood flow, protecting your heart (both literally and figuratively) against difficulties. 

A few years ago I realized that the physical exercises I was doing in physical therapy, AND the wise advice I was given in acupuncture by Dr. Li, AND my spiritual director’s guidance – were actually all telling me the same thing.

Open up your chest.

Breathe as deep as you can.

Let yourself be vulnerable, open, and genuine!

Do you need more reasons?

#5       Since laughter relieves physical tension, stress and anxiety, experts say that your muscles stay relaxed for up to 45 minutes following laughter!

I know it is different when you’re a young mom and you have 15 different balls to juggle with your kids. But I can tell you that the best medicine for me when I’m having a bad day or when my body is flaring up is to hang out with my grands. Within seconds… okay, within minutes, I am laughing at something one of them said or did. Who can resist a 2-year-old stud opening the front door in sunglasses?

As expert author Misti B., points out, “laughter has never failed to improve one’s life.”  Check out her book, "If you leave me can I come with you?" -- right here!

And yes, I've written about humor before -- like here and this one here. But I'm not as funny as Mrs. Diaz! 

“It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use,

from time to time,

of playful deeds and jokes”

                                                                       ~ St. Thomas Aquinas