“I have the feeling
that what is asked of us is to live in the whirlwind, without keeping back any
of our substance, without keeping back anything for ourselves, neither rest nor
friendships nor health nor leisure—to pray incessantly and that even without leisure—in
fact to let ourselves pitch and toss in the waves of the divine will till the
day when it will say: ‘It is enough’.”
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever
Psalm 73:26
“Listen carefully… and incline the ear of your heart”
+ + +
Do you know how many times the word “heart” appears in
Scripture? Depending on the translation of the Bible, and on how the word was
translated in the first place, the answer can be something like 726, or as many
as 963 times!
The HEART has been, quite literally, the center of my Lenten journey this year.
The week of Ash Wednesday, during a very relaxing and joyous
time walking and exploring the beaches
of northern California with my hubby, I experienced what I can only describe as
a heart episode—or at least, what I thought at the time could be a heart episode.
It was not, and I did not have a heart attack. Yet whatever
that event was, it led us to spend a whole afternoon at the local ER, where I
learned that my EKG results were abnormal.
Fast forward to a discussion back at home with my primary
doctor, followed by one test after another with abnormal results—all the way to
last week, when I became the dazed but thankful recipient of a new stent in my
heart.
It all still feels very surreal. And quite honestly, I am
still taken back by this new development, this very new world of heart
“things”… cardiac terms (it’s like learning a new language!), ID cards that I
must carry with me, new medications, and a permanent label of “cardiac patient”
as part of my medical record.
As a dear friend reminded me, as mysterious as all this
seems to me, it is nothing less than another life metaphor of my Camino journey,
and a new path in the pilgrimage that is my body.
From the beginning – and all of a sudden – my Lent has
become a season of listening… and anywhere and all the time, all I hear is the
word HEART.
It jumps out at me everywhere… in daily Scripture, in song
lyrics, Morning Prayer, in my Lenten readings, even in people talking!
It also makes it impossible to not see it and not hear it,
with new eyes and ears.
My heart was blocked, and now is flowing. My heart was fragile,
and now has strength. My 58-year-old abnormal heart is listening…
O Lord, help me to listen
 |
| art by Stephen Whatley |
beautiful!
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