because there is always only more grace

We’ve had several days this week with back to back…to back to back, ice storms that made the outside world here in central Oklahoma actually stop moving. No school. No work (for many). Church events, and even sports events, canceled. Offices, including the Court House, closed because workers could not get there thanks to the layers and sheets of ice that came with each wave.

This kind of weather, paired with the icy cold temperatures, is never good for my body. In particular, it makes me very aware of every aching joint! And this pain tends to make me ornery, I confess. Yet in spite of the weather and what it does to my body, this week I have not felt confined, restricted, or claustrophobic – which is my usual M.O.

Instead, I found myself welcoming the time it gave me to just be still. In spite of feeling the aches of my body, I have enjoyed the quiet that this icy outside world brought to my inside world. I even stopped reading email and messages, much to others’ chagrin!

In truth, I started the week wondering how well I’m “doing” Lent so far. Then I read this great quote by St. Teresa of Avila, featured in my daughter’s regular column in our archdiocesan newspaper, the Sooner Catholic:

“We gain more in a single day by trials that come to us from God and our neighbor than we would in 10 years of penance and other exercises that we would take upon ourselves.” (you can read the whole column here).

As I pondered on St. Teresa’s words, I realized that I could give myself permission to stop analyzing, stop dissecting my own actions and intentions—something that always ends up in my loud inner critic taking over. I could stop making myself feel guilty for not keeping up with life, my inbox, or my Lenten resolutions.

That’s when it dawned on me. Even my guilt is still self-centered!

So what’s the alternative? Well, the other option is to simply notice and pay attention – without judging – to what’s going on inside me, physically, emotionally, spiritually. 

What am I feeling? How is God here, in this moment?

Am I really being lazy, or does my body just need rest?

How does this week – as it is – fit into my Lent journey?

What is God inviting me to,

 what do I hear Him saying?

I continue to hold all of you in my prayers, especially as we move forward (or simply continue) this holy season of Lent…

page from one of my old journals

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"There is always only more grace. 

And it’s always more than I expect… 

Praise him for the unexpected and the unlikely, for the daily and the difficult, and the graces in disguise. The more you count, the more gifts you will see. Do not disdain the small.”

~Ann Voskamp,

“One Thousand Gifts,”