Brother Kevin McGuire's self-made motorcycle
To say that I tend to
be a slow processor is an understatement.
In a crisis situation, I’ve learned that I can and do respond
immediately to the needs and requirements of the event in progress—but when it
comes to feelings, it may be days before I can notice, define, and be able to
share what I have going on inside me.
All that is to say,
that I clearly underestimated how the events of last week affected me.
flowers growing on the beach in Mexico
Within seven days, I
experienced the birth of twin grandchildren; the mourning of spending three
days with a beloved dying friend; the joy of a dear friend’s wedding; and the
mixed bittersweet feelings of visiting with treasured long-standing friends, in
the town where we used to live, the city where I met Michael and gave birth to
three of our four children.
That’s a lot of
emotions to process!
Like many of us, I also
tend to be very hard on myself. I had a lot to do this week, and I just
couldn’t figure out why I felt so tired, why I had such a hard time getting
going with my work.
Old City, Jerusalem
Once I gave myself the
space and patience to accept myself where I am, to be as I am—and not as I
think I should be, it all began to make sense. It turns out that the mental,
spiritual, and emotional exhaustion that I’ve been feeling is more than
justified, it’s even natural!
In truth, if anyone
else had been sharing with me the events of last week, I would have caught on
quicker. And I would have encouraged that person to be patient, generous, and kind
to herself as she sorted out the myriad of emotions that those events must have
produced.
Perhaps I’ll do better
with myself next time?
At Mother Mary's house in Ephesus, Turkey
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